Up-close and Personal

Assalamualaikum

Wooo~ Time2 saya dah free, time2 tu la sume orang laen busy. Haih~ So, here I am, all alone again waiting for midsummer baby to be home. Dan kalau saya bosan, I'll always have 47543298759381745 peperos to eat while waiting. Duh~

Just now was talking to Pato. Pato kate kalau takde aral, dia nak visit Seoul next summer dengan Hanan. O yeah. Can't wait to see them. Pe lagi Pagel. Sile kumpul duit dari skarang so that ko pun cukup duit nk bayar airfare ke Seoul next year. Bawak Amy skali. Kkthxbb :p

Also, borak ngan Pato pasal PSP. Tadi dalam kelas Hyo-Seok oppa tayang PSP dia. Damn. Makin tengok makin rasa nak beli. But no way, Farini. Not until you score at least a 4.4 this sem. Got that?

Well, saya kan, cuma seorang girl yang plain dan boring. I'm the kind of girl who is good at study and nothing else. Tapi pun, saya sentiasa try my best in everything. Tapi kenape ek saya always ended up hurting orang lain? Orang yang saya tak kenal plak tu. Dan even bile saya hurt orang lain, percaya atau tidak, saya sendiri got hurt. Dan kadang2 luka pada saya itu lebih lambat sembuh dari luka yang saya buat pada orang lain.

Sometimes, I really want to see for myself the pain that I caused. Want to ask them 괜찮아? 많이 아퍼? Are you ok? Does it hurt much? 미안하다. 나 때문에 이렇게 상처 받았어. I'm sorry. You went through sufferings because of me. But in reality, I can't do that. Even when I honestly do care about how they feel, they won't think about it that way. Plus, I've once been on the losing side. I know how it feels like not wanting any sympathy from the winning side.

Winning feels good when you were still in high school where you didn't get to win much over anything. Be it the lead actress spot in your school play, or the captaincy of your house, or the best seat in the library or even the quarrel with the boys in your class. But when you are 21 and all you do is hurting others on your way to winning, it feels less somehow.

Ok. Sila jangan peduli. Saya agak jiwa kacau 2-3 hari ni. Thanks to kamu, kamu, kamu dan kamu yang berjaya grab my attention.

Till then.