Diari Pagi Minggu

Diari Pagi Minggu

Assalamualaikum

Just got up. Though morning call dah bunyi since pukul 8 tadi. Saya mimpi we are nearing graduation. But strangely, we didn't graduate together. Budak electronics graduate dulu before us. And I got bouquets of flowers. But they weren't as big as the ones Zatul and Dira got. Pffftt~ I remember eyeing their flower jealously. Haha :p And oh yeah, both the bouquets were given by anonymous person(s). I didn't even know whether the senders of both flowers were the same person or not. He/She asked someone else to give it to me. Without cards or anything. I can't really remember the 1st bouquet. It was a bit pale and dull. But the 2nd one was beautiful. A few shocking pink roses with deep red wrappings and green leaves as decoration. 6 or 7 of them, I guess. And it smelled really sweet. Unlike those at shops. Oh well, you know that roses at shops don't really smell as nice as people said roses are. And anyway, I had never seen a shocking pink rose before... It was beautiful really. But still, I hope I got a big one like Zatul and Dira got. Apekah??:D And oh yeah, that day wasn't my graduation day. It was the electronics students'. So I did wonder why did people send me flowers that day. Well, anyway, that was the last dream I remember before I woke up.

Today as the song If Only Tears Could Bring You Back To Me played, I actually cried. Haha~ Bukan kerana lagu itu. Uhm... ok. I did promise to be a bit open in this blog, didn't I? Well, I'm not really the kind of person who holds grudge against people. I used to think I was, when I was younger. Those years when I thought playing the troubled teenagers would make me look cool. Duh~ But no. Right now I know I'm definitely not that kind of person. And as much as I hate having to stay mad at one people, I hate having people mad at me too. Saya benci bile ade orang benci saya. I understand that when 2 people fights, both sides would think that they are the right ones. But I am ready to say sorry. In fact I've said it tons of times. I admit that closed friends been saying it's not my fault. That I don't lose anything not being friends with that person. But somehow I just can't rest assure. For I'd never have people staying mad at me for so long. Therefore I cried. For I wonder am I that bad a person? Am I that bad a friend? That when I did one mistake, my so-called-friends can't even forgive me? Am I expected to be a miss-perfect-with-no-mistakes that when I did one wrong decision which was based on my unstable emotions at that moment makes me unworthy to befriend? And this isn't the first time I cried over this. This fight has been stretched since forever. And still, I am not forgiven. It makes one portion of me hates myself.

Dah la.. saya nak pergi mandi *while crying in the shower, of course*

To you, if you read this, I still am waiting for you to forgive me.

Till then.

7 comments:



Anonymous said...

hahha...i got big bouquets of flowers!bestnye...no wonderla i cant remember my dream..msk mimpi ko rupenye..(ade kaitan ke?)hihihi

pphoenix said...

ahahaha
ko suh acap bc blog aku yg ni
kire2 hint nk bunga la
yg besa pnye tau
ahahahah

Anonymous said...

haha..mimpi xleh blah.

pphoenix said...

tp dalam mimpi tu ko x dpt ape ar kelly
jgn sedih nooo
xaxaxa :D

pphoenix said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

hahahaha..xpe2
i xdpt dlm mimpi
nk dapat dalam dunia reality
kuikui

pphoenix said...

elele
padahal ko jeles kn x dpat
ko saje cover kn? kn?